Some of you may know that Erik’s and my marriage got a major reboot five years ago. I’d like to write a book about that sometime, but in the meantime (today) it’ll suffice to just say that I went from taking Erik for granted to caring deeply about his happinessâ€”especially my part in it.
I remember having the thought–after the reboot had happened and we’d taken a second honeymoon and ordered a new wedding ring set and were having a grand old time in bed every day,
Who would have thought that my happiness was to be found in my marriage?!
I had suffered so much depression, stewed over all the possible causes and all the potential solutions for years, and yet â€œenjoy and pamper your spouseâ€ had not even entered my mental radar as a means to lasting happiness. What a shock, then, what a revelation when I found myself in 2006 delightfully happy by being delightedly grateful for and passionately re-in-love with my spouse!
Beautiful story, but, unfortunately, not â€œend of the story.â€
Things were great for months, but after a while I started returning to some of my old mental habits. Fortunately, Erik and I have remained close and emotionally intimate–spending most evenings talking together, as best friendsâ€”but that hasn’t prevented my depression from rearing its ugly head.
So, I was remembering yesterday that thought from five years agoâ€”that my happiness could be found in my marriageâ€”and realized it’s about time I started enjoying my marriage the way I did at that time. I want to throw away my worries with hopeless abandon and get seriously in love again! So I’m going to start applying some sexy thought filters throughout the day:
- â€œHow can I feel more connected to Erik right now while I’m doing _____?â€
- â€œWhat could I do for him today to make his life lighter and happier?â€
- â€œWhat romantic comedy could we watch tonight?â€
- â€œWhat memory of Erik do I want to hold in my heart today?â€
- â€œErik loves me, wants me, and thinks of me throughout the day . . .â€
- â€œErik’s such a stud. I love his . . .â€
Sounds fun. Being in love is fun!Â Charging up one’s marriage is a great way to get happy.